


Undercover In Love

by laraanita



Category: MindCrack RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, cute dorks being cute, expect a bunch of giggles and stupidity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-25
Updated: 2014-07-25
Packaged: 2018-02-10 08:13:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2017572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laraanita/pseuds/laraanita
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So Celeste was feeling ill and to make her feel better I offered to write her a small thing to make her feel better if she gave me a prompt. The prompt was:</p>
<p>"FBI Agents OOG go undercover as a married couple."</p>
<p>Okay, I thought, easy, simple crack. A couple of paragraphs at most! Noooope. I hope you enjoy this slightly cracky AU featuring OOG love as well as some Vechs/Etho.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Undercover In Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CelesteShepard](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelesteShepard/gifts).



They were professionals. They were some of the best in their field. They were the ones who always beat the odds to get back from a mission, even when the odds were enough to make even the steadiest handed agent shake in his or her shoes.

 

Which was why is was such an odd sight to see one on his back laughing his head off while the other sat in the chair before his supervisor, loudly demanding to be reassigned.

 

Seth just sighed and tried to will away the headache he felt coming on. "No, Agent Double O, you will not be reassigned. This mission is of utmost - can you please control your partner, I can't deliver the briefing if he's going to laugh the whole way through it."

 

Scowling, the agent nudged his cackling partner with his foot. "Guude, for goodness sake, get up, you're an embarrassment."

 

The agent on the floor calmed himself long enough to wipe away the tears that had been appearing at the corner of his eyes and giggled up at his scowling partner. "Sorry _dear_ , I was just-"

 

"Aw hell no, I ain't doing this shit if he's gonna use pet names!" Double O declared firmly, already getting up from his seat and preparing to walk out. Only the icy cold tone of his supervisor's voice stopped him in his tracks.

 

"Sit. Down." Seth ordered coldly. "This is an important assignment and we cannot afford any rookies in the department to mess it up. It might be an unusual cover story but since you two are the best we have, you'll have to adapt to it. If we want to catch Vechs and Etho with undeniable proof of their weapons trafficking, then we need you to get into their circle."

 

"By playing happily ever after?" Guude grinned, finally dragging himself up onto the chair he'd sat in before he'd fallen off laughing.

 

"You'll play the newlyweds moving in across the street, perfect with all the new gay marriage laws coming in to effect." Seth sniffed and sorted the papers on his desk, pulling out two copies of the files he had on the mission and handing them over.

 

Double O scowled faintly and snatched his copy. "Fine," he glared at Seth. "But I ain't wearin' no dress."

 

The statement only sent Guude into fits of laughter again. Seth found himself reaching for the migraine pills.

 

\---

 

"Goddamnit John, lift your side of the damn couch!" Guude groaned, wondering why the hell the agency hadn't at least hired a company to do all the heavy lifting for them.

 

"I'm liftin' I'm liftin'!" Double O snapped. "I think it's stuck on the door - give it a shove!"

 

Guude grunted and shoved hard at the end of the couch. There was a creek of wood and a yelp from his partner as the couch shot through the front door, sending Double O skidding back on the laminate flooring.

 

"YOU FLAMIN' - YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!"

 

Guude just sighed and wondered why it couldn't have been someone else at the agency he got fake-married to.

 

\---

 

"Etho."

 

"Hmm?"

 

"There's a moving van across the road."

 

"Mmmhmm."

 

"Looks like they could use a hand getting their stuff inside."

 

"Mm."

 

A pause, then... "Etho I'm pregnant and the baby's yours."

 

"Uh huh - wait what?"

 

Vechs giggled and let the lace curtain fall from his grasp. "You weren't even listening were you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow over the top of his glasses.

 

"Maybe I was, maybe I wasn't. What's it to you?" Etho matched his eyebrow raising, baring his teeth in a grin.

 

Vechs just sighed and situated himself in Etho's lap, nudging the newspaper his partner had been so focused in to the floor. Etho's arms slid around him and Vechs grinned. "I think we should go say hi, they seem nice."

 

"You know this could be a trap or something right?" Etho asked, idley running his thumb over Vechs' hip. "It would be so much nicer if we just stayed over here, maybe we could - "

 

Vechs shifted and batted away the hand, smirking. "I know what you think we could 'maybe' do, and I think we could maybe not. I know it could be a trap, but I think everything's a trap, it's why I'm still alive."

 

"You realise you don't actually live in the Princess Bride universe right, you don't have to quote it at me."

 

Vechs rolled his eyes and leaned forwards, forehead pressed against Etho's. It was very easy for him to spot the way Etho's pupils widened fractionally as their hips met. "Etho...indulge me," he whispered, lips brushing over his partner's. "I want to go say hi and it's just plain rude if you don't come with me...I'll make it up to you-"

 

"Done!" Etho agreed breathlessly and leaned forwards to catch Vechs in a kiss - only to be sorely disappointed when his lips met only air. Vechs was already tugging on his jacket at the door, grinning like a ten year old going on a trip out. Etho didn't have the heart to be annoyed, the delight from his partner was too infectious for such a thing. He found himself smiling as he got up and reached for his own coat. Trap, no trap, anything that made Vechs smile like that couldn't be a bad thing. It might be trouble, but that didn't mean it was bad...

 

\---

 

Vechs tugged Etho over to the house, hand holding tight to his as though making sure he couldn't escape. Etho refrained from rolling his eyes. He wasn't going anywhere. He was dragged up to the open front door and instead of knocking like a normal person, Vechs yelled out, "Knock knock! Howdy neighbours!"

 

Two heads poked around the door to the living room, blinking owlishly at the two standing in the door before they seemed to gather up the courage to approach. "Howdy neighbour?" the blond one echoed. "I guess you're the neighbours then?"

 

Vechs grinned widely and released Etho to stick out his hand. "Yes we are!" he said brightly. "I'm Vechs and this is my partner Etho! Welcome to the neighbourhood!"

 

Blondie took the hand and shook it, his grip firm but by no means painful. "Hey Vechs, I'm Jason, and this is my part - uh, husband, John." he winced at the stumble. "Still used to saying partner, sorry. We only just got married the other week."

 

John lifted his hand and flashed the ring, a twisted band of gold and white gold before leaning on Jason's shoulder with a lazy grin. "He'll get used to it eventually." he told them.

 

"Oh, congratulations." Etho spoke up, giving them a small smile. He took note of the stumble however, logging it away in the depths of his mind.

 

Vechs seemed obliviously happy regardless. "That's wonderful for you both. Just got a place together after the honeymoon?"

 

"Actually it was a gift from our parents, a joint one if you can believe it." Jason chuckled, sliding an arm around John's waist. "I dunno how they managed not to kill each other during the organisation of it but whatever."

 

"Aww, isn't that sweet Etho?" Vechs nudged his partner, who nodded obligingly. "Anyway, we noticed you looked like you were doing all the lifting yourself, do you need a hand with anything?"

 

"Hell, sure!" John accepted readily, to the surprise of his husband it seemed. "This idiot tried to kill me with the couch earlier, I don't trust him not to do it again."  
  
"I said I was sorry guy!"

 

Vechs giggled and rubbed his hands together gleefully. "We'll be glad to help!"

 

\---

 

Having four sets of hands made things move much faster than two, and they were done within a matter of hours. There were still boxes to be unpacked and pictures to be hung and such but most of it was already squared away. Vechs had sneakily hung more than a few paintings around the place while he was helping and already the place felt much more like a home. All four sank into couches in the newly completed living room, glasses of champagne in hand.

 

"To a new home!" Vechs toasted, raising his glass. "And to the happy couple! I hope you find everything you could ever wish for in each other."

 

The newlyweds glanced at each other, sharing a small smile and (on Jason's part) a light blush, lifting their glasses along with Etho before they drank.

 

Vechs decided he wanted to keep them. They were far too adorable.

 

\---

 

It's when they leave that Guude turns to Double O and sighs out, "They seem way too nice to be running a weapons factory."

 

"Yeah well, you know what they're like." Double O shrugs, reaching for the empty glasses and the half-filled champagne bottle. "Always the ones you don't expect. I think Vechs is the mastermind, he's too nice not to be."

 

"Etho's the muscle?" Guude asked, locking the door and beginning to close the blinds around the house.

 

"Something like that. You see how close they were?" Double O took the glasses to the kitchen, momentarily out of earshot of his partner until Guude appeared to close the blinds in the kitchen and lock the back door.

 

"I was too busy trying to act natural and be close to you, oh husband of mine." Guude snorted, still finding it hilarious. "I guess we pulled it off though, you heard that toast to us."

 

"Yeah..." Double O frowned, sliding the dishwasher closed. "It felt like an honest toast. The kind you'd hear from your best man at the wedding you know?"

 

"Oh god guy, don't go getting sappy on me now." Guude rolled his eyes, leaving the kitchen and his partner standing against the bench staring into the middle distance.

 

"Sappy...right."

 

\---

 

Bed that night was a somewhat awkward affair. For all they'd been close partners in work and best friends almost, they'd never had to share a bed before. If they were going to make this work, then they had to share a bed or it would seem suspicious. There was an awkward goodnight and then they'd each rolled onto their sides away from the other.

 

There was a giggled from Guude's side of them bed, followed by an amused, "Love you, baby."

 

Double O ignored it, tugging the covers up over his ear, trying to settle down. But the words circled in his mind, along with the echoes of Vechs' toast and he wondered what it would be like to truly hear those words from someone who cared enough to mean them.

 

\---

 

The next day was spent unpacking boxes and marvelling over the strange things that HQ had sent them to try and make their place homier. Double O took one look at a gaudy glass lamp and ‘accidently’ dropped it down the flight of stairs.

 

“Oops.” He drawled, eyeing the mess of coloured glass at the bottom, unable to help the grin when his partner came to a skidding halt at the bottom of the stair case, gun in hand. “Oh, here to save the day huh? You’re late, I already took out the monstrosity.”

 

“…The hell man, I thought someone -” Guude exhaled slowly and flicked the safety on before tucking it in the holster under his shirt. “You and me are gonna have to talk about shit like this. You can’t just do this when we’re undercover.”

 

“Relax,” Double O rolled his eyes. “It was just a crappy glass lamp. Now be an angel, dear, and clean it up.” He turned back into the office room he was currently unpacking.

 

“I thought you hated pet names!” Guude called up the stairs after him. “But whatever you say, baby cakes.”

 

\---

 

They’d spent a week in the house, trying to act normal, trying to act like a couple. Double O thought he was doing okay but the more time he spent acting like someone in love, the more he wondered what it would be like to really mean them.

 

He and Guude took turns cooking and after a while Guude seemed to have transformed into some kind of gourmet chef so Double O decided to just let him do the cooking from now on. He’d discovered the liquor store a few streets over so that weekend, he brought home several bags of the stuff, much to his partner’s delight.

 

“I think we should invite the neighbours over for a drink.” Guude said, looking over the labels, tapping one of the wines thoughtfully. “I mean, they helped us move in, and they’re already so friendly…what’s a drink between friends?”

 

Double O hummed doubtfully but he trusted Guude here. “If you think a little alcohol is gonna loosen his tongue, then it’s worth a shot. I’ll pop over, you get cookin’.”

 

He slipped out the kitchen, leaving Guude to cook up a storm with a smile on his face. He enjoyed watching Guude work away in the kitchen, some of the conversations they’d had while Guude cooked had been delightful this past week. But work came first, and so he found himself rapping at the door over the road. As he waited, he couldn’t help but notice the beautifully tended garden. The flowers were vibrant and thriving, and Double O found himself envying them, especially when he looked back over at his own bland patch of grass. If this was going to be a long term operation, then maybe it couldn’t hurt to pick up a hobby…

 

The door opened to Vechs’ grinning face. “John! Howdy neighbour! What can I do ya for?” he asked cheerfully.

 

His exuberance was contagious and Double O couldn’t help himself, grinning back. This was dangerous, he could almost actually like the man. He had to focus on the mission. “Came to ask you and Etho to dinner and drinks tonight. The house is all done and we figured there was nothing wrong with a little celebration. If you’re not busy tonight that is.”

 

“Ooh, we’d love to! I was gonna make Etho order pizza and a film for us but that sounds so much nicer.” The so-called arms dealer was practically bouncing on his heels. “What time do you want us over?”

 

“Uh, how about an hour? Jason’s putting on the food right now, so he might be a while. Ever since we moved here with the big kitchen, he’s been spending all his time in there. I think he’s planning on getting his own cooking show or somethin’.” Double O laughed, getting Vechs to giggle along with him.

 

“Alright then, see you in an hour.”

 

\---

 

“So when they said this was gonna be a long term assignment, how long do you think they were meaning?” Guude asked as he chopped up the meat for dinner, glancing up at his faux-husband.

 

“Been wondering that m’self.” Double O replied, flicking through a magazine idly and reaching for his wine glass. “Have you seen Vechs and Etho’s garden? If we’re gonna be here for months on end then I might wanna take up gardening, ain’t right for criminals to have nicer gardens than FBI agents.”

 

Guude snickered and scraped the meat onto the plate at the side of him, drawing more out the packet to chop up. “You garden, I cook, god we’re adapting faster than I thought we could. Pretty soon we’ll actually be married.” He laughed.

 

Double O snorted and drank deeply from his glass. “Mm, maybe not…” he hesitated then decided to bite the bullet. He’d been thinking about it all week so why not? “You ever thought about it though?”

 

“About what?” Guude asked, finishing with the meat and dropping the chopping board and knife into the sink.

 

“Settling down. Quittin’ the whole agent thing.” Double O said quietly, eyes fixed on the magazine on the worktop in front of him. It was an ad about some kind of soap or something, he wasn’t really paying attention.

 

“…Not really, I guess.” Guude washed his hands of the meat juices, drying them off on a dishtowel before he turned to look at his partner properly. “Why? Do you?”

 

“…Didn’t until now.” Double O admitted softly, lifting his eyes from the page to meet his partner’s. “This…it’s nice, I guess. A home, a – a partner…neighbours…didn’t think I’d need a normal life with everythin’ goin’ on at the bureau but…” he swallowed past the growing lump in his throat, unable to finish.

 

“You miss it.” Guude finished for him, leaning over the worktop to squeeze his partner’s shoulder. “Hey, hey, that’s nothin’ to be ashamed of. That’s what most people want out of life. I won’t lie, this whole thing threw me for a loop but if there was anyone I had to be fake married to for months on end, I’d want it to be you. I don’t think I could share a house with any of those asshole at the agency for more’n a day without wanting to kill em. I could easily spend my life locked in a room with no one but you and wouldn’t mind so much.” He gave the shoulder one last squeezed and turned away to add the chicken breast strips to the frying pan, cooking them for a while before he added them to the sauce in the pan.

 

“Guude…you ever-”

 

The doorbell rang just as Double O spoke up and he dropped the subject, going to let in their guests for the night. Vechs stood on the doorstep, Etho at his back and a bottle of red wine in hand. He grinned at Double O and slipped in past him, leading the way to the kitchen. Etho offered a softer smile before he followed, much calmer than his partner. When Double O got there behind them, he found Vechs in the seat he’d sat in moments ago, avidly chatting with Guude. The bottle of wine was sitting beside a set of four glasses Guude seemed to have dug out of somewhere and the agent busied himself pouring out the wine while Vechs chattered away. He slid each glass in front someone and took a seat beside Etho, occasionally glancing at the silent man. Etho’s attention was mainly fixed on Vechs, eyes holding a softness that didn’t seem to exist when he looked at Guude of himself.

 

He wondered what that felt like, glancing at his own partner. Were they even going to be able to pull this off, this act? Emotions like those were hard to replicate but he was nothing if not able to take on a challenge headlong. After a sip his wine for confidence, he set down the glass and rose from his seat, walking around the worktop until he stood at Guude’s back. Guude barely glanced at him as he approached, trusting him with whatever he was getting up to. From there, it was an easy enough task to lean against his shorter partner’s back, arms sliding around his waist and chin resting on his shoulder.

 

There was a brief pause in Guude’s stirring of the sauce, then he let out a short giggle, one that Double O couldn’t help but chuckle softly at. Then Guude returned to stirring the sauce, as if there wasn’t someone curling up against his back and watching him cook. Behind him, Double O heard Vechs whisper.

 

“How come you never do that to me while I’m cooking?”

 

“I’ve seen you cook, it’s dangerous enough with just you present near an open flame.” Etho murmured back.

 

“You’re still mad about-”

 

“There’s a reason Zisteau and Kurt don’t want to come over for dinner any more, let’s just leave it at that.”

 

Double O just smiled and shook his head slightly, hesitating when he realised that it effectively made him nuzzle Guude. The other didn’t react to it, aside from a tiny smile playing at his lips.

 

Maybe they could pull this off after all.

 

\---

 

One meal and desert later, the alcohol was broken into properly and it didn’t take long before Guude was telling Vechs and Etho amusing anecdotes about their friends from work. Dangerous, but Guude was always careful to leave out anything too revealing. The current story about Pause was being retold as a day at a paintball course instead of a high profile stealth mission gone wrong. As a result, Pause getting shot in the ass was infinitely more amusing especially with alcohol flowing through their systems.

 

As soon as Vechs and Guude had stopped their giggle fit, Double O decided to try something. He wasn’t sure exactly what drove him to lean against Guude’s side and slowly begin to slide sideways till his head was in his partner’s lap. Alcohol, determination to try and act like a loving partner, either way the result was his grinning up at his partner. “Hi.”

 

He got a giggle in response. “Hey guy,”

 

“You look extra cute from this angle, I ever tell you that?” It was true really, slightly pinked cheeks from the alcohol, bright eyes, a lazy grin on his face, all framed by messy blond hair. It was pretty cute.

 

“No, but you should do that some more.” Guude giggled again, reaching down to run his fingers through Double O’s hair. “And I’ll do this some more.”

 

Double O hummed happily to himself and closed his eyes, relaxing under the gentle touch. It was oddly relaxing and a warmth was spreading through him that had nothing to do with the alcohol, and everything to do with the situation. Everything was going well. He’d even dare to say he was enjoying the act.

 

He just wasn’t sure he was supposed to enjoy it so much.

 

\---

 

It wasn’t until he woke up the next morning tucked against Guude’s chest with his partner’s arms around him that he realised they should probably talk about this. He sighed and patted at Guude’s bare chest with one hand. “Guude…Guude, buddy wake up.”

 

There was a groan from his partner and the arms closed tighter around him, dragging him closer and making him squeak in surprise. Guude didn’t seem inclined to wake up just yet…and Double O didn’t really want to move from where he was trapped either. A glance at the alarm clock showed it was still relatively early, surely going back to sleep would be fine…

 

That was how Guude woke up hours later, a snoozing FBI agent curled against his chest and wrapped in his arms. He was grateful he hadn’t drank all that much last night, he knew for a fact nothing had happened there after Etho and Vechs left but the way Double O was holding onto him he couldn’t help but wonder if he was remembering it right. Not that he terribly minded waking up like this… it was kind of nice actually. After so many years devoting himself to the job, this kind of domestic bliss was working out really well, and yesterday had been amazing even if it had partially been spent in the company of criminals they were supposed to be spying on.

 

He realised he’d been watching Double O sleep for several minutes while thinking about nothing really in particular, except that it was a nice feeling. Yeah, they were going to have to have a word or two about this sort of thing.

 

\---

 

Turns out that word or two happened over lunch, which was really a late breakfast, over coffee and pancakes.

 

“So uh, this…thing.”

 

Double O glanced up from his coffee mug. “Hm?”

 

“Us. This marriage thing. And us.” Guude replied eloquently.

 

“Yeah…us.” Double O fought the urge to stare down into his coffee cup. He lost the battle, staring down into the murky brown liquid. “Yesterday…I did the things because I realise we weren’t really act like much of a couple. I’m sorry if it-”

 

“Don’t be.” He interrupted gently. “It…was a good idea. And I didn’t mind.” He hesitated, then added, “Even sorta liked it.”

 

Double O’s head snapped up, eyes wide. “You did?” he asked, trying to ignore the weird flop his stomach gave. “I…I did too. Is that weird?”

 

“It probably should be, but we’re already faking being married…maybe taking a little guilty pleasure in things isn’t so bad?” Guude gave a nervous little smile, fingers tapping restlessly against his coffee cup. “But…thing is, we’re probably gonna have to…do more in front of people if we want them to think we’re a couple in love.”

 

Mouth quite suddenly dry, Double O barely managed to ask, “how much more you thinkin’?”

 

Guude had to clear his throat before he could speak. “Uh…kissin’, mainly. People expect couple’s t’kiss, so…we need to be prepared to go that far, right?”

 

“Right.” Double O sat up straighter on his stool at the breakfast bar. “Right…so…do we, uh, practice or something?” He was willing to he was looking a little red in the face right about then, Guude was looking a bit coloured as well.

 

“Well…don’t want to be awkward or anything in front of people, right?” Guude was convinced for a moment that his partner would see right through his shoddy excuse, only to be shocked by Double O nodding almost thoughtfully.

 

“Guess we should…practice. Now?” He rose and nudged the stool back, looking at Guude with the same kind of intensity he usually reserved for missions.

 

Guude’s stomach was the one flip flopping about now. “…Uh, well, neither of us have anywhere to be so…sure. Let’s do it.” Oh god this was insane, he was going to kiss his work partner. He gripped the coffee mug tight before forcing himself to release it and relax. He wasn’t a schoolboy getting his first kiss, even if his nerves about the situation were reaching about the same levels. He didn’t have long to think on it though, since Double O was standing before him, taking his chin between finger and thumb to tilt his face up. Guude had enough time for one last ‘oh god’ to cross his mind before the lips he was staring at were pressed against his.

 

It was gentle, sweet even, and despite that it sent raw heat coursing through him, so much so that he found himself gripping his partner’s shoulders and dragging him closer, parting his lips for more. Before he could even tease at Double O’s lips, the other was already deepening the kiss, pressing him back against the breakfast bar. Briefly he wondered why he hadn’t kissed his partner before now because Double O was damn good at this. A groan from the partner in question chased away his thoughts and he focused on kissing back, parting his legs enough to let Double O get closer.

 

The kiss broke eventually, leaving them staring in no small amount of shell-shocked arousal, lips wet and bruised, cheeks flushed. Guude’s hands had migrated to Double O’s back and likewise Double O had one hand buried in Guude’s blond hair, the other resting on his thigh, trembling slightly.

 

“So…” Guude croaked after a moment. “That happened…”

 

“It did…” Double O swallowed nervously. “You, uh…wanna do it again?”

 

“…Hell yeah.”


End file.
